Do Business Well

Role of the Mediator

So, we conclude that passive mediation is effective in resolving two-person conflicts. Since we recognise that the Method can produce interpersonal peace without a third party, you might be wondering, ‘Of what use, then, is a mediator?’

A mediator can perform several useful functions that help the Method achieve more satisfactory results than when it is used as self-mediation:

A reluctant disputant can be more effectively persuaded to participate if the Dialogue is proposed by a third party than if proposed by her opponent. The mistrustful climate of most interpersonal conflicts leads one to suspect that her Other is driven by manipulative, self-serving motives in suggesting that they meet to discuss contested issues. When proposed by a neutral mediator who has no personal stake in the outcome, this suspiciousness and distrust is minimised.

1. The mediator can exercise more control in ensuring that a participant who becomes frustrated with the Method will not break Cardinal Rule #1 by withdrawing or walking out. When the Dialogue is under way with no mediator, the person who has initiated it is vulnerable to his Other’s reneging on the commitment to stay in the meeting until it is concluded. A mediator can more forcefully insist that a wavering participant stay in the room and continue discussion.
2. The mediator can exercise more control in ensuring that neither partner violates Cardinal Rule #2 by employing coercive force or intimidating threats to defeat her foe. Indeed, some lopsided power conflicts may be resolvable only through mediation.
3. The mediator, being less emotionally involved, can listen more attentively for conciliatory gestures. When such a gesture occurs, the mediator can bring attention to it with a comment like ‘It sounded like you made an offer to compromise a moment ago. Could you say more about that?’ or ‘Did you notice that Susan said she felt bad for you?’ This kind of supportive attention can be difficult for a participant to give, especially when he is angry.

When the Breakthrough occurs, the mediator can more effectively help frame an agreement than if deal-making is left to the partners. The mediator may be able to think more clearly about the necessary elements of a behaviourally specific agreement than can a participant who remains emotionally upset. Also, urgings by a mediator to correct a flaw in an agreement are met with less defensive resistance than when weak spots are noted by a foe.

Finally, a mediator can make use of what social psychologists call the ‘audience effect’ in following up with participants at some agreed time in the future. The audience effect accounts for why participants feel more obligated to a neutral third party in living up to their part of an agreement than they do to their counterpart in conflict. Follow-up by the mediator typically consists of

Meeting again with the participants at a specific time agreed to by all at the close of the Dialogue.

• Asking at the follow-up meeting, ‘How is it working?’ to prompt the participants to review the agreement.
• Helping to fine-tune the agreement if necessary.
• Congratulating the partners on their successful efforts to bring harmony to their relationship.

Who can Mediate?

The 4-Step Method is generic; it can be used to resolve any two-person conflict that meets the prerequisites. The only requirements of the mediator who manages the Method are that she

is accepted by both participants into the third-party role. This acceptance is most likely when the mediator is perceived by each partner as

• relatively neutral and unbiased, meaning that she is not an advocate of either person, and
• having some base of power to enter the role of third-party with the two people in conflict. This power can reside in either

Being perceived as a competent mediator,

Or

Having authority to require that a Dialogue occur, even if one or both participants are reluctant to meet.

refrain from interfering with the Essential Process during the Dialogue. Mediators are best able to avoid this common mistake who

• know the procedure of the 4-Step Method,
• understand some of the behavioural science that explains how the Method produces harmony, and
• have confidence that the Method works.

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