April 7th 2008 12:30 am

Working With Someone You Dislike

No matter what the issue, you can’t seem to agree with your colleague about anything. But as managers with equal status in the same company, you have no choice but to work together on projects.

What do you do? Staying at odds and letting the mutual dislike fester just leads to strained nerves. It also makes everyone around you uncomfortable.

The answer—and relief as well—lies in coming to a common understanding and finding a harmonious middle ground.

All disagreements between peers are the result of contrasting work styles, insists Robert Hecht, cochairman of Lee Hecht Harrison, Inc., a New York outplacement firm. “Your work style is a function of your personality,” he says. People tend to agree upon broad objectives and goals, but disagree on how to reach those goals.

To reconcile differences, Hecht offers these suggestions:Business Blog

  • Appreciate your colleague’s opinion. While you may not agree with another person’s approach or style, respect the fact that it also has value. Also, try to see issues within a perspective and don’t blow them out of proportion.
  • Depersonalize your differences. Don’t fall into the trap of attacking the person. Stick to relevant issues and put emotions aside. Question facts, but not motives.
  • During a critical disagreement, Hecht advises standing back:

Allow the other person to react. Hear what he or she has to say without letting your feelings interfere.

Work toward agreement on what the work problem is. After you have both stated your opinion, develop a joint definition you can both address.

Test your solutions. Give yourself a time period, 60 to 90 days, for example, to monitor a program to see if it works. Then you can fine-tune it and make adjustments based on real-life experience.

Observation: By working closely together and having an ongoing dialogue concerning how goals are to be reached, you’re also breaking down barriers. This will help you reach a better understanding of your colleague’s work style.

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Working With Someone You Dislike

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